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First Love

    When we are in the process of finding our husband or wife to be (or in our current marriage), it is important to keep a few things in focus. Namely, that our focus should always be on Jesus. Did you know that we all (women and men!) are created to be the bride of Christ? How does that change your views on marriage and relationships?

Isaiah 54:5 For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. (NLT)
    We are supposed to be living with our God as our spouse. That means that He is the one we want to please, the one we confide ourselves in, the one whom we give our all. He is supposed to be put above your spouse when you have one. He should have the ultimate closeness to us and all our love and affection. The funny thing is, when you love the Lord that much, it flows out towards others! And even your spouse. We were created to love the Lord first, then love others as ourselves. In a husband and wife one-flesh relationship, you are designed to love the other as yourself! That is the meaning of "one-flesh." But you cannot fulfill that unless you love Jesus more. 

Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus replied: "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"(NIV)

   It is also important that we love Jesus first (and find a spouse who does also) because in growing our relationship with Him, we are transformed into His image. Jesus is so wonderful! All things good come from Him and not from the flesh. I don't know about you, but I want to marry someone who looks a lot like Him. And we only recognize that others look like Him when we get to know Him! Jesus is constantly revealing Himself in new ways to us. To me He is my provider, my best friend, my Father, the One who makes me laugh, the One who constantly amazes me, the One who does things just for me every day, the One who listens to me and talks with me, my guide, the lover of my soul, and so much more! I want to marry a man like that. What does Jesus look like to you? How well do you know Him?

2 Corinthians 3:18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. (NLT)

    Furthermore, we are to be imitating our relationship with Christ within our relationships! Knowing Him teaches us how to relate to one another in marriage and in other relationships. Ephesians outlines the importance of this matter. 

Ephesians 5:21-33 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NLT)

    The Lord desires an intimate relationship with us that far surpasses our earthly relationships. Dig in to your relationship with Him and stop worrying about finding someone else. He is jealous for you and wants you for Himself first. Only when He has you and the other person as His own, will you both truly be able to commit to your relationship with one another with complete wholeness. Remember that He is always to be your first love. 


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