When someone has wronged you in some way, have you ever felt justified in holding it against them? Have you thought that it is right to hold a grudge against someone to protect yourself? Have you had someone hurt you so greatly that you thought that they didn't deserve your forgiveness? How about holding your pain and anger against someone so that they would know how much they wronged you? As for myself, I have done them all.
However, none of those things are Biblically sound reactions when someone wrongs you. It is undoubtably one of the most difficult things in the world to forgive someone who has caused you great pain and suffering. It is easy to feel justified in holding a grudge against our inflictors and judging them for their actions. But the Bible tells us that is wrong. The Lord is the only one who can judge our hearts.
Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you (ESV)
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (ESV)
However, none of those things are Biblically sound reactions when someone wrongs you. It is undoubtably one of the most difficult things in the world to forgive someone who has caused you great pain and suffering. It is easy to feel justified in holding a grudge against our inflictors and judging them for their actions. But the Bible tells us that is wrong. The Lord is the only one who can judge our hearts.
Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you (ESV)
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (ESV)
James 2:13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (ESV)
Likewise, it is also natural, although completely misguided, to feel like you want the one who hurt you to know the pain they have caused you. I have often wanted others to know exactly how terrible they have made me feel and even for them to feel that same pain. But the truth is, even though someone may have wronged me, I have control over the way I feel. I alone have control to let it affect me or not. And deep down, I don't want anyone to have to suffer. I would much rather them experience the love and grace of God like I have been afforded when I've messed up.
Romans 11:6 But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace. (ESV)
But the biggest truth I can offer about forgiveness is this-- holding on to grudges only hurts you. As much as we want to believe that holding those things against others affects them in any way, it doesn't. Most of the time they have no idea. We feel as if holding on to the grudge is us not letting them "get away with it." Instead, we suffer when carrying those chains of unforgiveness around our hearts, preventing us from loving like Jesus did.
John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (ESV)
Today I challenge you to look into your heart. Is there bitterness and unforgiveness there? Are you holding a grudge against those who have hurt you? Ask yourself this-- do they deserve God's love and mercy too? The answer is yes. The only question left is this-- will you show it to them? Take off the chains that bind you and live in the radical freedom that you were created for!
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. (NIV)
I will leave you with Jesus' own challenging thoughts on forgiveness as explained through this parable He shared with His disciples.
Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (NIV)
Likewise, it is also natural, although completely misguided, to feel like you want the one who hurt you to know the pain they have caused you. I have often wanted others to know exactly how terrible they have made me feel and even for them to feel that same pain. But the truth is, even though someone may have wronged me, I have control over the way I feel. I alone have control to let it affect me or not. And deep down, I don't want anyone to have to suffer. I would much rather them experience the love and grace of God like I have been afforded when I've messed up.
Romans 11:6 But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace. (ESV)
But the biggest truth I can offer about forgiveness is this-- holding on to grudges only hurts you. As much as we want to believe that holding those things against others affects them in any way, it doesn't. Most of the time they have no idea. We feel as if holding on to the grudge is us not letting them "get away with it." Instead, we suffer when carrying those chains of unforgiveness around our hearts, preventing us from loving like Jesus did.
John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (ESV)
Today I challenge you to look into your heart. Is there bitterness and unforgiveness there? Are you holding a grudge against those who have hurt you? Ask yourself this-- do they deserve God's love and mercy too? The answer is yes. The only question left is this-- will you show it to them? Take off the chains that bind you and live in the radical freedom that you were created for!
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. (NIV)
I will leave you with Jesus' own challenging thoughts on forgiveness as explained through this parable He shared with His disciples.
Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (NIV)
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